I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
