you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
