i wish there were pregnant emoticons
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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