she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
