ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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