Non-Jews are for practice
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
