Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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