My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
