lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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