She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't put those talents on a resume
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
