My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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