Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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