i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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