hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
