Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
