her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I love you. Go after that dick
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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