I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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