He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
