I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
