Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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