Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
