WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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