I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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