I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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