how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
