you would pick up someone in the library
so let's talk penis.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
