Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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