It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
