what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
