NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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