Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
