my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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