I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
