Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
