Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
