How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
