It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
