your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
