What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
