If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
