I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
