I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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