I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
