let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
