Moan for me like Helen Keller
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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