nut hugger
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
