Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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