...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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