Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
God I need to hump something, right now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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