the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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