p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
