I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
we're so committed to being not committed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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