it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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