Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
