i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am available for nakedness
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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