playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
