yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
