the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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