Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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