fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
