I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
