it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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