I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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