no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
