I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
