Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
