Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
