This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
