Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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